Ron Artest Does Not Live On Planet Earth

September 1, 2009 – 1:30 pm by Tas Melas

I transcribed this interview but I’m not sure if it’s real; either Ron Artest is far ahead of modern western civilization, or he is far, far behind.  But, because he is unlike any of us, it’s impossible not to find him fascinating.  Call him a weirdo ’cause he doesn’t do many regular, everyday things, but he will entertain you until it hurts too much to laugh, or you’re annoyed as hell.  Artest joined The Carmichael Dave Show to discuss singing Celine Dion and passing gas at a random Filipino household, hunting down and speaking with the man who threw beer on him in the infamous brawl, and how he and his friends like free food.

On speaking with the guys who threw beer at him during the famous brawl:

“A long time ago, a year ago or something like that, I was looking for John Green, the guy who threw beer at me in Detroit.  And, I was talking to Dave, and I’m like, ‘Yo, we need to find this guy and interview him,’ and my team, my personal business management team, they got real nervous, like, ‘Don’t do it.  It’s only gonna ’cause controversy…’  So, after a couple years, I’m like, ‘People would love to see me talk with John Green after all these years…’  It won’t be crazy, it’ll be historical, and it’ll be something for people to understand when you fight with one another, you can always become friends, you don’t have to hold a grudge for the remainder of your life… So, I found him, through my Twitter friends, I had a twit saying, ‘I need to find John Green’s number.  Anybody who can help me find John Green’s number, I can take you to lunch.’  So, one guy helped me find it… So, I called John Green’s house and I say, ‘Excuse me ma’am, can I speak to John’s please?’  She says, ‘Who’s this?’  I said, ‘Ron.’  ’Ron who?’  I said, ‘Ron Artest.’  She says, ‘No!  You can’t be serious…’  Then, I spoke with John, and me and John spoke like we knew each other.  I said, ‘Hey John, what’s up?’  He said, ‘Hey Ron, how you doing?’  It was like immediately we kinda vibed… So people are gonna have a chance to see, we’re actually gonna come on Dave’s show and do a live interview for the world to hear, the first time Ron and John speak.  It was a great conversation, all we were talking about was ways to reach out to inner-city kids and even suburban kids…”

On these wild contests he holds and how he ended up singing Celine Dion on camera, via karaoke, at a random Filipino household:

“What happened was I had a contest; all LA fans get access to Ron Artest.  So, what I did, I gave my number out and my Twitter out, so I speak directly to my fans and I give contests – I invite people places, I go to people’s houses.  So, this one contest, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, I need something to do.  Whoever comes up with the most interesting thing to do, I will come and visit you anywhere you’re at.  Some people asked me to be their best man, come play basketball, a bunch of other things.  The one thing that was interesting was the Filipino food; this whole family asked me to come to their house and eat Filipino food, and I have a Filipino son, half-black, half-Filipino.  And, I knew that the Filipinos, they love karaoke, some Vietnamese people, a couple other cultures, they love to do karaoke.  So, what I didn’t think was they would ask me to do karaoke.  So, the first night, we went over, we had dinner, we laughed, I got outta there.  It was the third day, me and my friends was hungry, so we said, ‘Hey, what about calling the Filipino family again and eat some more dinner, some more free dinner.’  So, we go over there, eat some free dinner, by the end of the night, they wanted to do karaoke.  I’m like, ‘I’m not doing karaoke.’  The mom said, ‘No, Ron.  You have to do karaoke, please do karaoke.’  I said, ‘Ah, are you serious?’  Four songs passed and I said, ‘Nah, I’m not doing this karaoke.’  She asked me again, I respected her, I did the karaoke, I did Celine Dion, and it was just classic, classic footage.  I was gonna save it for my reality show but I just thought the fans probably wanna see it now.  I actually did a lot of crazy things in a house that night that I had never been in.  I was eating dinner, laughing at one of my friends, and I had some gas… So, now, I’m laughing at my friend, I’m laughing so hard at the dinner table, and I just let one loose: PRRAAHAHAAHAHAHAH.  Real loud!  Real loud, Mr. Carmichael.  I’m not releasing that footage.  (Host: Is there footage somewhere?)  There’s footage, I might let people see it one day, it was funny.  So, tomorrow I’m gonna go see a Mexican family and I’m gonna go eat some Mexican food.”

Listen to Ron Artest on KHTK in Sacramento with Carmichael Dave

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