Top Ten Punishments For Tom Cable For Decking His Assistant Coach
October 16, 2009 – 11:25 am by Jimmy ShapiroWe’ve never posted a top ten list here at SRI. Mostly because I’m not funny enough to write one. But I’m happy to post someone else’s funny top 10 list. This one was written by Jeff Aaron, better known as the “Fish” of KRKO outside Seattle.
Punishment for Oakland Raiders Coach Tom Cable for decking his assistant coach.
“I am going to F*&king Kill You…”
1. Has to keep JaMarcus Russell as his starting QB for rest of season and donate half his salary if “Off-The Mark-Us” Russell doesn’t complete 35% of his passes.
2. Sentence Tom Cable to remain head coach for 3-5 years, with no chance for parole.
3. For every penalty called on Oakland this season Tom Cable must pay a 10 dollar fine or 1 million dollars- whichever amount is higher…
4. Must host anger management classes to actual Drunken Raiders fans from the Black Hole after each one-sided home loss .
5. Every time the Oakland Raiders fall behind by 20 points in the 1st half – Cable will be tasered by local Oakland Police on the sidelines as the Halftime show entertainment.
6. Tom Cable must walk thru Raider parking lot during all tailgating parties wearing a pink tutu and a KC Chief Helmet.
7. Must sign up as a contestant on “Dancing With the Stars” on ABC.
8. Must wash Owner Al Davis’ hair , clip his toenails in the team locker room after each loss.
9. QB JaMarcus Russell will now be in charge of team exercise and diet programs.
10. Must fight Brock Lesnar in UFC 115 in Oakland CA with a Commitment to Excellence, Just Win baby attitude!
Tags: Al Davis, JaMarcus Russell, Oakland Raiders, Tom Cable, Tom Cable hitting Randy Hanson
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